Only A Hyphen Apart

Love Travels Miles

Dear Soul Friends,

It seems like December brought many of us a gift that feels rather hidden - the gift of challenge. I have been quiet the past days as I focused my energy on holding space for one of my family members who had to undergo some sudden surgery. I am always eager to respect the privacy of the people around me so I won’t go into detail, but I learned so much in the past few days and I wholeheartedly want to share these insights with you.

“Empty space is not empty. It is full of energy and information.”

David Bohm

I am used to holding space in my retreats, workshops and circles for quite a while now, but the past days have made me think a lot more about the importance of holding space - for others as well as ourselves. It is an interesting term, something that might sound strange. How can we hold something that doesn’t exist? Or does it? Is anything we can’t touch not really there? When talking about energy I often hear “I can not see it, so how can I believe, it is there?” Funnily, there are so many things that we use in everyday life, that we can’t touch, but we don’t deny its existence: WiFi, gravity, air, electricity and time. So what does holding space truly mean?

When we look at the etymology of space we see that the word is mostly linked to time and place. We measure space from one object to another, from here to there, from matter to matter. Sayings like “This person is in my space.” or “I don’t have space.” imply that we seem to link space also to our bodies. People that are staring into the distance or those who are highly drugged are described with being “spaced out”. I would say that how we experience space is highly subjective. We can be sitting next to our favourite person and still feel as if there is a universe between us. We can also be far apart from our loved ones and feel as if they are wrapped around us. Space can stretch, bend and contract, it can swirl and flicker, it can feel filled or empty, vast or thick.

Picture Credit: Author - We are interconnected with trees through our breath

“All matter is a condensation of consciousness.”

David Bohm

How we fill this space, is up to us. We decide how much space we make and how much space we take. Whatever we are saying yes to, expands. This can be especially tricky if we tend to have issues with saying “No”. Then our space gets cluttered with things that we don’t really care for. Sometimes we fill space, because we have not learned to be comfortable with a lot of space.

We fill the space of silence, because we think communication happens on the level of words. We fill the space of time, because we think we are only worthy when we are doing something. We fill the space of solitude, because we fear to be alone. We are scared to take up space, because we have learned that being unnoticed is safer. Just like we wrap a new-born baby to help it feel safe with wrapping it up tightly, we feel safer in a restricted space - and at the same time our soul screams for expansion.

“Space is not an empty container in which events happen; it is an active ingredient in the unfolding of reality.”

David Peat

Space is not empty. Space is filled with frequency and constantly transports information back and forth. For me, the highest vibrational frequency is Love. For me, space is filled with nothing but Love.

Picture Credit: Author - When we are far apart from our loved ones, we often think we can’t connect. Yet Love travels miles.

“Love is a choice. A choice that I create. Every fucking day.”

Jamie Millard

On the day of the surgery I first felt utterly powerless. “I am far away from my family, there is nothing I could do from here”, were my first thoughts. After frantically looking for flights, I took some deep breaths and realised that it wouldn’t help to rush to decisions. Then I remembered that I am a vibrational being, and I decided to make use of my capability to hold space.

For me, holding space means to connect to that energetic field of Love that space is filled with, even when everyone around is in fear. Over the past years I have witnessed the magical powers of Love and what staying connected to her frequency can achieve. I connect easiest to this field of pure positive energy, when I am creative. Thus, I spent the day writing poetry, drumming, singing and breathing.

Picture Credit: Author - Holding space is all about energy

I think a lot of artists hold space for the world, in many different ways, often without knowing it. Some write uplifting poetry, some sing healing songs, some create stunning pictures, some craft cute little puppets - whatever we do, when we have an idea and our art just flows, we are connected to this invisible field of positive energy. Love is a choice, and every time we are choosing Love over fear, we decide to create rather than react. This is not an easy thing to do and requires practice, that’s why I love Jamie’s line from his poem Morning Ritual, where he talks about choosing Love “every fucking day”, because it implies the commitment we need for our decision to deliberately choose Love. Some days it is not easy. Some days it takes longer to notice the little moments of beauty, of poetry, but they are there if we just keep looking. And it is always rewarding.

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
— Albert Einstein

What we see each day is an illusion, according to Einstein’s quote. There is no question that it is hard to see beyond this illusion. When I cut my finger or see other people suffering I feel the pain with every cell of my body. And for sure it is not compassionate to deny the experience of anyone, not even our own, by simply saying “this is just an illusion”. However, when we strip down everything this human life is bringing us, energy remains. Pure, positive energy. Free flowing energy. Love. We connect to this energy through making space in our bodies - through the breath. Our breath contracts when we are in fearful situations or perceive danger - a natural response. Yet, we can practice to deliberately breathe deeply, extending the space in our body and giving the pure positive energy a chance to flow. It is a little bit like opening a window and letting some air in.

I invite you to observe your breath throughout the next days.

• How does it change when you are around people?

• What is your general breathing pattern at the moment?

• Do you breathe into your belly?

• Do your shoulders lift when you are breathing?

• How far can you let your breath flow inside your body?

• What helps you to breathe deeply?

Maybe the most compassionate thing we can do in situations of suffering is simply to breathe for and with someone. Maybe we can make a huge impact just by connecting to our own breath, weaving a tapestry of support into the energy field of Love. Lately I noticed that my breath starts to speed up when I hear someone shout or if somebody is upset. I observe myself holding my breath and my whole body contracts. This made me curious, why does my body react, although I am not in fear? Does my nervous system unconsciously mirror the world around me? I dove deeper and found some studies that reveal, that there is such thing as synced breathing. We can unintentionally pick up on the breathing pattern of our conversation partners, especially of people who are close to us. This also includes, according to the studies, heartbeat and brain activity. Read more here.

What if we used this ability to synchronise our breathing intentionally? On my journey through understanding energy, I came to the conclusion that there is no such thing as bad energy. There is energy and there are blocks that are hindering energy from flowing through us. In my experience so far, breathing is the easiest and quickest method to remove these blocks. Maybe, when someone is in pain, breathing is the best we can do? Breathing calms the nervous system and helps us and the other one to feel less anxious. When we breathe with someone, our attention naturally is focused on the breathing, therefore our counterpart feels seen and heard, as we are fully present. A magical connection is formed as we both tap into the same energy, at the same time, beyond physical space. I think this is why in breathwork sessions we feel deeply connected to the people around us, once the session is over. We bathed in the same ocean. We became the ocean. Inhaling Love, exhaling fear.

Picture Credit: Author - Open spaces often cause us to instinctively breathe in deeply. The more space we perceive, the easier it is to breathe.

I think the term “holding space” is misleading. Holding sounds like effort, it implies contraction and reminds me of holding on, rather than letting go. To me, flowing or growing space sounds more fitting. When we practice to make room in ourselves to let the energy flow freely, it gets easier to remove the blocks that our nervous system installs in order to keep us safe.

“The great benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the time and tranquility to make meaningful connections — with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our own bodies and minds.”

Carl Honoré

When our bodies are relaxed, our breath has a slow and steady pace. We are so used to speeding, multitasking and getting things done that our nervous system are in constant arousal. We try to be “on time”, telling ourselves that “one day” we will rest - when we have time. Often, we don’t get to rest because our bodies collapse before, forcing us to slow down. In the past weeks I often pointed out how fast time is running these days, only to feel as if the carousel moved even quicker. Once I stopped focusing on the speed and directed my attention towards the beauty of this life, filled to the brim with gifts, teachings and moments of beauty and poetry, time started to slow down. What if we could slow down the heartbeat of the world by intentionally slowing our breath?

Picture Credit: Author - Nature helps us to breathe more deeply

“Dialogue is not about arriving at conclusions but about creating a space in which meaning can unfold.”

David Peat

When the poetry flew through me on the day of the surgery, I realised that by writing, I was keeping my connection to the energy field of Love. Each line break seemed to create more room for breathing, each metaphor opened a field of possibility, each rhyme connected my breath to the rhythm of a soothed heart. Each poem was a dialogue with space. Each poem was a dialogue with Love.

We perceive distance through our human lens. Distance is the discord that we feel in ourselves when our mind and heart are not in sync. When we think about a person we love, we let the vibration of Love flow through us. The minute we contaminate our thoughts with fear- and lack-based thinking, for example “They are so far away!”, “It will be months until we see each other again.” “I wish I could hug them.”, we block the energy flow and we are out of alignment. In this moment, we swap our experience with our perception and switch from heart to mind. We disconnect from oneness and watch the illusion duality like a movie.

We can hold full conversations on an energetic level without even seeing a person. A simple gesture or ritual such as lighting a candle and setting an intention can be felt miles apart. Poetry brings connects us to our heart and shortens the experienced distance between faith and limiting belief. Whether our loved ones have left their human bodies or are physically or mentally on the other half of the world, we can connect with them through our breath and our heArt. They are only a hyphen apart.

Antiqua 

The fading ink
sighs on yellow paper
a distant tune of joyful times
forgotten
not lost
a withered shadow of dreams
lingering 
in between the lines
the love letter
smouldering in smother
parting into two
journal entries
you and me
painting fairy tales 
in eulogy
all roads lead
to Rome
they say
who will we meet
on our way
how do we know 
that we are here
if the mirror disappears 
at least 
I feel the paper rustling
underneath my feet
trusting
that the roots grow deep
and when the falcon
cries our spiralling song
I sense you there
right where you belong 
In the whispers of the trees
amongst the pages 
of my heArt
knowing deep inside
we are only
a hyphen apart

Sadhbh Adamea

Distance is an illusion, created through fear. For unity we need to connect to our inner peace. What if we could end wars simply by practicing to connect to the energy of Love? One breath at a time.

“From a distance, there is harmony
And it echoes through the land
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves
It's the heart of every man
It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves
This is the song of every man”

From the song “From A Distance” by Bette Midler

If you need a little hope, tune in and sync your breath with the rhythm of the song.

May your holidays be filled with laughter and breaths of delight!
May your Christmas be happy and bright!
May you let your soul shine and connect to your heARt!
May you know that all of us are just a hyphen apart!

Lots of Love,

Always feel free to reach out if you need a helping hand, a kind word, encouraging conversation or simply someone who listens.